Sunday, March 29, 2009






There she is, there is my most beautiful MaryDove. I needed to put her on this blog, I want to put all of my guys on here, Lily is my welcoming picture, but I had to put little Mary on first, she is such a treasure, and I think about all of those poor strays out there like her, who haven't found a haven, and have no home. It breaks my heart. I am lucky enough to have Mary for almost 17 months now, she came to me the week I lost my job, November of 2007. I found her on the front porch, skinny, and so sick. It was instant trust between Mary and me, I scooped her up and took her to the Vets 15 minutes after first seeing her. (foggy and rainy day too) She lived at Pop's house for a few days, and on November 17 (yes, a double happy day now) I brought her here, and this is where she stays!! And she's a bit of a boss too, ask Bobby or Valentino.
But there are so many many poor souls like her, and for them there is no happy ending. It kills me and that's the truth, the older I get the more I can't endure it. At least right now the winter is ending, and the harsh cold they've endured will ease, but winter will return as it always does, and there is no answer for them, or for me. I try to console myself a bit, that , at least for Mary, there is warmth and safety and love. I wish it were in my power to make it so for all of them.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I just watched The Constant on abc.com. That is my favorite Lost episode of all time, I don't think I will ever like another one as much as that one. I love, love, love Desmond and Penny. That phone call just gets to me every time I see it. I used to have it saved on my YouTube videos, but I guess they had to take it down, as it's not there anymore. All of that I'm sorry Penny and I love you and I'll never stop looking for you I promise. Oh God.
And why it calls to me so much I don't know
as I feel that all desire and romantic love is dead in me. But that's not something that I want to get into on here. Today was rainy and cool, and I was home mostly all day, with all of my guys. I feel alone and just into myself, altho I don't think that I am lonely today, or else it is just so much a part of me now that I don't recogonize it as such. I guess I better find a book, to lose myself in a story and keep my brain active. Namaste. (too into Lost today I think)