hmm, what to say, watching the news about the Swine Flu.

It's so scary, and yesterday I felt as tho I were living in The Stand. I wonder how Stephen King is feeling, and what he's thinking. Since I love (most) the books of Stephen so very much, I always wish I could sit down and talk to him. I feel as tho I know him. There actually was some guy on CNN yesterday who was saying there is no reason not to travel, and this will be a good time to do it, as resorts won't be crowded. I think that is such irresponsible reporting. How foolish is it to travel to a place where there is a communicable disease. What a fool. His advice was to just make sure to wash your hands. Right.

I guess there is nothing we can do about this, just wait and see how things go down. I think that it will follow the 1918 Flu, altho hopefully not with the mortality rates! It will probably die off soon, and then return in the Fall. I guess this means that this year I'll have to get a Flu shot!

All of these dark thoughts seem out of place with this beautiful summer-like weather we are enjoying right now. I've been seeing the stray cats I feed, piercing my heart because there is nothing I can do for them except feed them. At least the cruel winter is over, and they aren't suffering from the snow and cold. God, they are all so very cute.

And because I was reading one of my old diaries, I've been remembering the past, my mom, all of the agony we went thru with her illness, and Rick, all of the agony (and happiness too) in our relationship. I wrote "we have a flame between us". I can't bring back that feeling, I don't know how to HAVE that feeling anymore, but I know that the line was true. We could not stay away from one another, no matter how many problems we had, the physical pull we had for each other was impossible to resist. For sure I couldn't stay away from him, and it seems, at least according to what I wrote, that he was the same with me. It was a different time, a different life, and a different me.

I don't know how I lived thru it, with my mother, and with his

"I want to be with you, I can't be with you, I can't see you anymore, I love you, I want to see you, etc etc." All I know is when I did get to be with him, the joy was always well worth the pain. I'll never be that happy again. That's so sad. I think I'll post a picture to counteract all of these gloomy writings.